User blog:Desert King/The Dream
I had a dream, but it was not all a dream... I wondered through a strange mist, a mist that was so thick and so cold. I shivered. I shivered all the time. The mist never let up, but as I continued walking I realized I was in a forest. This forest was not alive. The trees were dead... No creatures were to be seen or heard. I felt alone. But I was not alone. A voice came from the mist calling my name. I stopped. I was confused, lost. Lost not in the mist but in my own thoughts. The voice... It was familiar. It called again. I recognized the voice, there was no denying it. The voice calling out to me was my own. But it was not I who called into the mist... Emotionless, careless, I ran towards the voice. My only thought was to find out what was creating the voice. The faster I ran the closer I seemed to get. That is until I learned the voice was no longer in front of me. Did the person make their way past me without me knowing? I turned around and chased after the voice again. I needed to know. I needed to know who it was. I ran for so long. My energy depleting. Then the voice was behind me again... I stopped. Something was different now... The voice was no longer calling out my name, but instead repeated the phrase: "She will show you the way". She? Who was she? This question soared threw my every thought. My mind was racing. Faster and faster. Then, everything just stopped. I looked into the mist and yelled out: "I am not lost! I don't need to be shown the way!". Just then the mist which was so thick and heavy dissipated before me. And there, standing right in front of me... Was me. I was staring right back at myself. This portrayal of my existence spoke to me: "But you are lost. You have forgotten who you are. You've been running for so long and for what? So you wouldn't feel the pain of losing your best friend? What has happened to you?". I stared for a moment. I was confused. How did he know me? Why did he look like me? I needed to know. I asked him: "Who are you?". It wasn't long for a response. He replied: "I am you, or rather who you were. Who you have forgotten. After your relationship with Jammie ended you decided to continue life as if nothing had happened. You broke her heart and you didn't even apologize! You never even spoke to her again! After she moved away you changed. You didn't feel pain from the relationship because you left me! You left me behind just like you left her." I remained silent. The memories were returning. Arizona... The school... the group... Jammie... I met Jammie when she joined the group all those years ago. We were easily friends. I could get along with anyone back then. The group felt complete with her... We would all sit around one of the few trees in the courtyard talking about our day so far and what we planned to do with our lives. It was months before I learned of her feelings for me. She had told the group about it while I was writing a story for Writing class. I just sat there unaware that everyone was giggling. Then one of my friends came over and told me. I looked up at her. She was 15 feet away but was close enough. I had never had a real relationship before. I didn't know what to do. All my friends wanted me to date her. I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I began dating her... The memory flashed forward just two weeks later. I stopped talking to her. I was tired of a relationship. Jammie was so sad at first trying to get me to talk to her. But as time went by she decided enough was enough and ended the relationship in tears. He was right. I did feel nothing after breaking her heart... I spoke out in ignorance: "I was weak then. I wasn't ready for a relationship. How else would I ha-" He cut me off. "You are just creating an excuse! You always have an excuse for every problem! She loved you and you got rid of her like you got rid of your respect for everyone around you!" I stood motionless. This was so strange yet so true. He walked over to me and grabbed my arm. "You are going to live with the guilt you always should have had." I woke up then. But I was scared now. I could still feel him holding my arm, even as I moved it about. I closed my eyes. I knew I needed to go back to sleep. I different dream was what was going to make things better. But time passed by and I was still awake. It was then I decided to write down this dream. I cannot understand its purpose if it even has a purpose. I hope one of you might have an idea... Category:Blog posts